SAN FRANCISCO — In a major victory for gay rights advocates, a federal judge on Wednesday struck down a California ban on same-sex marriage.
Chief U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker ruled that the voter-approved ban, known as Proposition 8, violates due process and equal-protection rights under the U.S. Constitution.
The ruling met immediate criticism from Mormon and Catholic church leaders and cheers from gay-rights advocates.
"Moral disapproval alone is an improper basis on which to deny rights to gay men and lesbians. The evidence shows conclusively that Proposition 8 enacts, without reason, a private moral view that same-sex couples are inferior to opposite-sex couples," Walker wrote.
The judge added in the conclusion of the 136-page opinion: "Proposition 8 fails to advance any rational basis in singling out gay men and lesbians for denial of a marriage license."
His ruling came in response to a lawsuit brought by two same-sex couples and the city of San Francisco seeking to invalidate the law as an unlawful infringement on the civil rights of gay men and lesbians. The landmark case is expected to be appealed and could eventually reach the U.S. Supreme Court.
Outside the federal courthouse in San Francisco, a cheer went up among a group of about 70 same-sex marriage supporters carrying small U.S. flags, as a large rainbow-striped flag — the symbol of the gay rights movement — waved overhead.
NBC, msnbc.com and news services
updated 1 hour 7 minutes ago
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Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Bulling
Why do people bully each other?
Bullies are people who enjoy, for one reason or another, abusing and undermining other people, often because their chosen victim is different in some way. This might be because the victim is gay, from a different racial background, or because they look different or behave a certain way. Being bullied because you are gay is called homophobic bullying. Of course, nobody deserves to be bullied, no matter what their background, behavior or physical appearance, but bullies tend to focus on people they notice as distinct or different. The bully may also feel that their victim is weaken than they are - physically, emotionally or both.
People bully each other for many different reasons. A popular explanation is that bullies are insecure people who work out their problems and find the power and confidence they lack by bullying others. Sometimes this is true, but it’s not always the case. The bully may feel he has to act tough to impress his friends, who in turn are bullies. Maybe the bully has aggressive and unsympathetic parents. Growing up in a house where there is violence, a lack of love and positive influence can produce a very angry and aggressive person who communicates as he or she's been taught: with anger and by inflicting pain. Sometimes the bullies are victims of bullying themselves and have a lot of anger and hurt to deal with. It is also true – and seldom admitted - that some people simply get a kick out of humiliating and tormenting other people and this is all the justification they need.
Am I being bullied?
Bullying takes on many forms. It can range from name calling and verbal abuse to being physically attacked. Other forms of bullying include:
• Being deliberately excluded from a group
• Having rumors spread about you
• Having your possessions tampered with or stolen
• Pranks that are performed on you that others may find funny but that make you feel uncomfortable
• Being pushed or intimidated into doing something you don’t want to do
• Being undermined and made to feel less valued than others
• Constant criticism
Nobody deserves to be bullied and it’s not your fault.
Bullies are people who enjoy, for one reason or another, abusing and undermining other people, often because their chosen victim is different in some way. This might be because the victim is gay, from a different racial background, or because they look different or behave a certain way. Being bullied because you are gay is called homophobic bullying. Of course, nobody deserves to be bullied, no matter what their background, behavior or physical appearance, but bullies tend to focus on people they notice as distinct or different. The bully may also feel that their victim is weaken than they are - physically, emotionally or both.
People bully each other for many different reasons. A popular explanation is that bullies are insecure people who work out their problems and find the power and confidence they lack by bullying others. Sometimes this is true, but it’s not always the case. The bully may feel he has to act tough to impress his friends, who in turn are bullies. Maybe the bully has aggressive and unsympathetic parents. Growing up in a house where there is violence, a lack of love and positive influence can produce a very angry and aggressive person who communicates as he or she's been taught: with anger and by inflicting pain. Sometimes the bullies are victims of bullying themselves and have a lot of anger and hurt to deal with. It is also true – and seldom admitted - that some people simply get a kick out of humiliating and tormenting other people and this is all the justification they need.
Am I being bullied?
Bullying takes on many forms. It can range from name calling and verbal abuse to being physically attacked. Other forms of bullying include:
• Being deliberately excluded from a group
• Having rumors spread about you
• Having your possessions tampered with or stolen
• Pranks that are performed on you that others may find funny but that make you feel uncomfortable
• Being pushed or intimidated into doing something you don’t want to do
• Being undermined and made to feel less valued than others
• Constant criticism
Nobody deserves to be bullied and it’s not your fault.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Gay Parents Not Equal In Wisconsin
An appeals court in Wisconsin ruled Thursday that a woman who helped raise her two adopted children with her lesbian partner is not considered their parent under state law, the AP is reporting.
The court ruled against the woman, who wishes only to be identified as Wendy, who was seeking legal guardianship of her two children, who were adopted from Guatemala. Wendy agreed to quit her job and stay home since her partner, Liz, was the primary breadwinner. The children would also be able to be added to Liz’s health care plan.
The District 4 Court of Appeals ruled that only Liz is their parent since the adoptions were done under her name. Because Wisconsin does not have adoption rights for gay couples, only one of the partner’s can “legally” be the parent.
"It's another slap in the face to gays and lesbians that we're not equal. We're not parents," Wendy’s attorney, Michele Perrault said.
The couple was together for seven years before they decided to adopt a child in 2002. They adopted a second child in 2004. The couple separated in 2008, and agreed to an informal co-parenting relationship to share custody.
As time passed, Wendy wanted legal protection and recognition so she filed a petition to the court. Liz initially agreed to Wendy’s petition, but then changed her mind and formally objected. The court sided with Liz as did the appeals court.
One step forward, two steps back in the fight for equality…… When will the fight for equality ever end?
The court ruled against the woman, who wishes only to be identified as Wendy, who was seeking legal guardianship of her two children, who were adopted from Guatemala. Wendy agreed to quit her job and stay home since her partner, Liz, was the primary breadwinner. The children would also be able to be added to Liz’s health care plan.
The District 4 Court of Appeals ruled that only Liz is their parent since the adoptions were done under her name. Because Wisconsin does not have adoption rights for gay couples, only one of the partner’s can “legally” be the parent.
"It's another slap in the face to gays and lesbians that we're not equal. We're not parents," Wendy’s attorney, Michele Perrault said.
The couple was together for seven years before they decided to adopt a child in 2002. They adopted a second child in 2004. The couple separated in 2008, and agreed to an informal co-parenting relationship to share custody.
As time passed, Wendy wanted legal protection and recognition so she filed a petition to the court. Liz initially agreed to Wendy’s petition, but then changed her mind and formally objected. The court sided with Liz as did the appeals court.
One step forward, two steps back in the fight for equality…… When will the fight for equality ever end?
Friday, July 9, 2010
Study: Children of Lesbians May Do Better Than Their Peers
Study: Children of Lesbians May Do Better Than Their Peers
By Alice Park
The teen years are never the easiest for any family to navigate. But could they be even more challenging for children and parents in households headed by gay parents?
That is the question researchers explored in the first study ever to track children raised by lesbian parents, from birth to adolescence. Although previous studies have indicated that children with same-sex parents show no significant differences compared with children in heterosexual homes when it comes to social development and adjustment, many of those investigations involved children who were born to women in heterosexual marriages, who later divorced and came out as lesbians.(See a photographic history of gay rights, from Stonewall to Prop 8.)
For their new study, published on Monday in the journal Pediatrics, researchers Nanette Gartrell, a professor of psychiatry at the University of California at San Francisco (and a law professor at the University of California, Los Angeles), and Henry Bos, a behavioral scientist at the University of Amsterdam, focused on what they call planned lesbian families — households in which the mothers identified themselves as lesbian at the time of artificial insemination.
Data on such families are sparse, but they are important for establishing whether a child's environment in a home with same-sex parents would be any more or less nurturing than one with a heterosexual couple.(See a gay-rights timeline.)
The authors found that children raised by lesbian mothers — whether the mother was partnered or single — scored very similarly to children raised by heterosexual parents on measures of development and social behavior. These findings were expected, the authors said; however, they were surprised to discover that children in lesbian homes scored higher than kids in straight families on some psychological measures of self-esteem and confidence, did better academically and were less likely to have behavioral problems, such as rule-breaking and aggression.
"We simply expected to find no difference in psychological adjustment between adolescents reared in lesbian families and the normative sample of age-matched controls," says Gartrell. "I was surprised to find that on some measures we found higher levels of [psychological] competency and lower levels of behavioral problems. It wasn't something I anticipated."
In addition, children in same-sex-parent families whose mothers ended up separating did as well as children in lesbian families in which the moms stayed together.
The data that Gartrell and Bos analyzed came from the U.S. National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study (NLLFS), begun in 1986. The authors included 154 women in 84 families who underwent artificial insemination to start a family; the parents agreed to answer questions about their children's social skills, academic performance and behavior at five follow-up times over the 17-year study period. Children in the families were interviewed by researchers at age 10 and were then asked at age 17 to complete an online questionnaire, which included queries about the teens' activities, social lives, feelings of anxiety or depression, and behavior.
Not surprisingly, the researchers found that 41% of children reported having endured some teasing, ostracism or discrimination related to their being raised by same-sex parents. But Gartrell and Bos could find no differences on psychological adjustment tests between the children and those in a group of matched controls. At age 10, children reporting discrimination did exhibit more signs of psychological stress than their peers, but by age 17, the feelings had dissipated. "Obviously there are some factors that may include family support and changes in education about appreciation for diversity that may be helping young people to come to a better place despite these experiences," says Gartrell.
It's not clear exactly why children of lesbian mothers tend to do better than those in heterosexual families on certain measures. But after studying gay and lesbian families for 24 years, Gartrell has some theories. "They are very involved in their children's lives," she says of the lesbian parents. "And that is a great recipe for healthy outcomes for children. Being present, having good communication, being there in their schools, finding out what is going on in their schools and various aspects of the children's lives is very, very important."
Although active involvement isn't unique to lesbian households, Gartrell notes that same-sex mothers tend to make that kind of parenting more of a priority. Because their children are more likely to experience discrimination and stigmatization as a result of their family circumstances, these mothers can be more likely to broach complicated topics, such as sexuality and diversity and tolerance, with their children early on. Having such a foundation may help to give these children more confidence and maturity in dealing with social differences and prejudices as they get older.
Because the research is ongoing, Gartrell hopes to test some of these theories with additional studies. She is also hoping to collect more data on gay-father households; gay fatherhood is less common than lesbian motherhood because of the high costs of surrogacy or adoption that gay couples face in order to start a family.
By Alice Park
The teen years are never the easiest for any family to navigate. But could they be even more challenging for children and parents in households headed by gay parents?
That is the question researchers explored in the first study ever to track children raised by lesbian parents, from birth to adolescence. Although previous studies have indicated that children with same-sex parents show no significant differences compared with children in heterosexual homes when it comes to social development and adjustment, many of those investigations involved children who were born to women in heterosexual marriages, who later divorced and came out as lesbians.(See a photographic history of gay rights, from Stonewall to Prop 8.)
For their new study, published on Monday in the journal Pediatrics, researchers Nanette Gartrell, a professor of psychiatry at the University of California at San Francisco (and a law professor at the University of California, Los Angeles), and Henry Bos, a behavioral scientist at the University of Amsterdam, focused on what they call planned lesbian families — households in which the mothers identified themselves as lesbian at the time of artificial insemination.
Data on such families are sparse, but they are important for establishing whether a child's environment in a home with same-sex parents would be any more or less nurturing than one with a heterosexual couple.(See a gay-rights timeline.)
The authors found that children raised by lesbian mothers — whether the mother was partnered or single — scored very similarly to children raised by heterosexual parents on measures of development and social behavior. These findings were expected, the authors said; however, they were surprised to discover that children in lesbian homes scored higher than kids in straight families on some psychological measures of self-esteem and confidence, did better academically and were less likely to have behavioral problems, such as rule-breaking and aggression.
"We simply expected to find no difference in psychological adjustment between adolescents reared in lesbian families and the normative sample of age-matched controls," says Gartrell. "I was surprised to find that on some measures we found higher levels of [psychological] competency and lower levels of behavioral problems. It wasn't something I anticipated."
In addition, children in same-sex-parent families whose mothers ended up separating did as well as children in lesbian families in which the moms stayed together.
The data that Gartrell and Bos analyzed came from the U.S. National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study (NLLFS), begun in 1986. The authors included 154 women in 84 families who underwent artificial insemination to start a family; the parents agreed to answer questions about their children's social skills, academic performance and behavior at five follow-up times over the 17-year study period. Children in the families were interviewed by researchers at age 10 and were then asked at age 17 to complete an online questionnaire, which included queries about the teens' activities, social lives, feelings of anxiety or depression, and behavior.
Not surprisingly, the researchers found that 41% of children reported having endured some teasing, ostracism or discrimination related to their being raised by same-sex parents. But Gartrell and Bos could find no differences on psychological adjustment tests between the children and those in a group of matched controls. At age 10, children reporting discrimination did exhibit more signs of psychological stress than their peers, but by age 17, the feelings had dissipated. "Obviously there are some factors that may include family support and changes in education about appreciation for diversity that may be helping young people to come to a better place despite these experiences," says Gartrell.
It's not clear exactly why children of lesbian mothers tend to do better than those in heterosexual families on certain measures. But after studying gay and lesbian families for 24 years, Gartrell has some theories. "They are very involved in their children's lives," she says of the lesbian parents. "And that is a great recipe for healthy outcomes for children. Being present, having good communication, being there in their schools, finding out what is going on in their schools and various aspects of the children's lives is very, very important."
Although active involvement isn't unique to lesbian households, Gartrell notes that same-sex mothers tend to make that kind of parenting more of a priority. Because their children are more likely to experience discrimination and stigmatization as a result of their family circumstances, these mothers can be more likely to broach complicated topics, such as sexuality and diversity and tolerance, with their children early on. Having such a foundation may help to give these children more confidence and maturity in dealing with social differences and prejudices as they get older.
Because the research is ongoing, Gartrell hopes to test some of these theories with additional studies. She is also hoping to collect more data on gay-father households; gay fatherhood is less common than lesbian motherhood because of the high costs of surrogacy or adoption that gay couples face in order to start a family.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Eleven-Year-Old Who Killed Himself Bullied, Called Gay
I came across this article that was so disturbing to me. It seems that more and more children are becoming cruel at such an early age. I just don't understand why the school districts are not putting a stop to this. The Bullying is happening on their school grounds and they should be held responsible for every incident that occurs.
Eleven-Year-Old Who Killed Himself Bullied, Called Gay
Two days after the worst day of her life, when she found her 11-year-old son had committed suicide by hanging himself, Sirdeaner L. Walker said on Wednesday she wants the bullying to stop. She found Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover hanging by an extension cord on the second floor of their 124 Northampton Ave. home Monday night after he had endured another day of taunting at New Leadership Charter School, where he was a sixth-grader, she said. “I just want to help some other child. I know there are other kids being picked on, and it’s day in and day out,” said Walker, 43. …
Read the full story from MassLive.com.
Eleven-Year-Old Who Killed Himself Bullied, Called Gay
Two days after the worst day of her life, when she found her 11-year-old son had committed suicide by hanging himself, Sirdeaner L. Walker said on Wednesday she wants the bullying to stop. She found Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover hanging by an extension cord on the second floor of their 124 Northampton Ave. home Monday night after he had endured another day of taunting at New Leadership Charter School, where he was a sixth-grader, she said. “I just want to help some other child. I know there are other kids being picked on, and it’s day in and day out,” said Walker, 43. …
Read the full story from MassLive.com.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
How can you tell if your girl friend is gay?
I have been asked many times by "newbies" comming out, "How can you tell if your girl friend is gay? or How can you tell if a girl is gay ro not? I felt this is a topic that many can relate to. Sometimes friendships between girls can become very close and you can see that in how they carry themselves in their body language, eye contact and even in their verbal language. Here are some tips that may help you:
Watch the body language. This is usually a definite giveaway. Does your friend brush against you or touch you very often? Does she often stand very close to you, and look at you a lot? Test this out when you're together, and test this out when you see her with other girls. Make sure you don't make a mistake though. Sometimes she may just be looking at you because you're wearing a new outfit, and brushing against someone is an action used with most, if not all good friends.
Think about the way she talks. Does she often hit on you or other girls jokingly? Is she flirtatious? Consider the way she is when talking to other girls - how close she is, her eye contact, and read her body language. Think about all of it carefully and see if anything is crossing the friendship line.
Check for rainbows. Rainbows are a gay/lesbian symbol. Many gay people wear a rainbow bracelet, anklet and/or necklace. Other places where people place "pride" rainbows are: on bumper stickers, on clothing, in/as tattoos, on backpacks, on laptops, etc. Keep your eyes peeled for them - but don't jump to conclusions.
Watch her reaction to people who are gay/lesbian. Does she seem absolutely disgusted about it or is she relaxed? Use your brains, though; sometimes she may be pretending to be disgusted with the idea in an effort to hide her true feelings. She may also be lesbian if she seems very uptight and nervous about the topic. Be sure to take into account what kind of a person she is. In addition, many straight people are unaffected by exposure to gays and lesbians, so be careful to factor this into your conclusion.
Be forthright and ask. If, after looking for these signs, you still aren't sure, and even if you are 99 percent sure, you need to ask her. Be careful though, it may be a touchy subject if she is still confused or feels cornered by your question. If you do ask, make sure it is in a way that makes it clear that you'll be supportive of her, whatever she answers.
Watch the body language. This is usually a definite giveaway. Does your friend brush against you or touch you very often? Does she often stand very close to you, and look at you a lot? Test this out when you're together, and test this out when you see her with other girls. Make sure you don't make a mistake though. Sometimes she may just be looking at you because you're wearing a new outfit, and brushing against someone is an action used with most, if not all good friends.
Think about the way she talks. Does she often hit on you or other girls jokingly? Is she flirtatious? Consider the way she is when talking to other girls - how close she is, her eye contact, and read her body language. Think about all of it carefully and see if anything is crossing the friendship line.
Check for rainbows. Rainbows are a gay/lesbian symbol. Many gay people wear a rainbow bracelet, anklet and/or necklace. Other places where people place "pride" rainbows are: on bumper stickers, on clothing, in/as tattoos, on backpacks, on laptops, etc. Keep your eyes peeled for them - but don't jump to conclusions.
Watch her reaction to people who are gay/lesbian. Does she seem absolutely disgusted about it or is she relaxed? Use your brains, though; sometimes she may be pretending to be disgusted with the idea in an effort to hide her true feelings. She may also be lesbian if she seems very uptight and nervous about the topic. Be sure to take into account what kind of a person she is. In addition, many straight people are unaffected by exposure to gays and lesbians, so be careful to factor this into your conclusion.
Be forthright and ask. If, after looking for these signs, you still aren't sure, and even if you are 99 percent sure, you need to ask her. Be careful though, it may be a touchy subject if she is still confused or feels cornered by your question. If you do ask, make sure it is in a way that makes it clear that you'll be supportive of her, whatever she answers.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
How do you know if you still love her?
How do you know if you still love her ?This was a question that was asked by one of my best friends. She and her partner have been together for over ten years. To us they look like they are the perfect couple for each other and that no one could ever come between them. I am lost for words and I don't know how to respond.
I feel people just don’t fall out of love! When your heart leaves it leaves. But, somewhere inside of you, you want to try because you don’t want to look like the bad person or you just don't know how to move on without hurting her. Sometimes things happen for a reason.
Knowing if you love her involves some serious soul searching. In order to love someone else, you must first love yourself. Write down how you do feel about her. For example: you enjoy her company, have similar interests, feel safe, trust her, think she is attractive, etc. Distinguish between love and lust or infatuation. Lust is an intense sexual desire. Infatuation refers to the initial stage of a relationsip when you are "crazy" about her, but this feeling usually fades over time. But this does not mean that you don't love her.
When the love is there you will know its there. If you question your love for a person, then it must be that your heart is not in it anymore. You need to Remember that at the end of the day its all about you and no one else… do whats best for you.
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