Children need to be raised in a safe, warm, nurturing environment with responsible parents who see that their needs are met. Good parenting involves consistency and caring, traits which are not gender specific. Realistically, gay and lesbian couples are just as likely as straight parents to raise kids who are well-rounded and have healthy self-esteem. Studies support the idea that the well-being of children is equal, whether they have gay/lesbian parents or straight ones.
Unique Challenges of Gay Parents
Kids whose parents are gay or lesbian are sometimes subjected to the same type of discrimination that other minorities face. Teachers and other school officials need to be diligent about protecting all children from unfair treatment by their peers. Kids who are teased, especially when it happens regularly enough to be considered bullying, can sometimes suffer from low self-esteem and depression. Fortunately, more and more schools are recognising the importance of controlling the actions of bullies.
Attitudes Vary
Although acceptance of non-traditional families is more widespread than in past years, there are still many people who refuse to acknowledge that gay and lesbian parents can offer children a proper home. Since attitudes vary considerably, especially geographically, it may be wise for homosexual couples to seek forward-thinking communities in which to raise their families. Typically, diverse, urban areas are more likely than rural ones to show tolerance for non-traditional families. Hopefully, the time is near when all communities will recognise that there are many types of happy, healthy families.
Teaching Acceptance
Children who are raised in gay or lesbian families are likely to be empathetic and accepting of others -- largely because they know firsthand that pre-judging someone is unfair and unwarranted. Both heterosexual and homosexual parents should strive to teach their children to be tolerant and accepting of other people. Heterosexual parents can talk to their children about the struggles that they see other kids facing and talk to them about issues of right and wrong. Lessons in caring, kindness, and consideration are important for all families.
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Gay parentingby Paula Hall
Those in gay or lesbian relationships will be confronted by different questions. What will people think of us? What impact might it have on my child? And, of course, the most fundamental: How will I get a child?
The first question that perplexes many gay couples, long before they even make a serious decision about starting a family, is how would we have a child?
Alison, 36, and Jan, 39, have been together for nearly six years and Alison never made any secret of the fact that she wanted a child. She explains: 'I'm from a very close family and I've always wanted children, always wanted to be a mum. I think some people assume you don't like kids if you're gay, but I've always loved them.'
Jan adds: 'I've always wanted a family too but because Alison is younger than me, we agreed years ago that she should be the one to get pregnant. But we didn't talk about it really seriously for years. I think we were both too scared to. But anyway, first we had to work out how the hell she'd get pregnant!
'We talked about adoption but even though the law has changed, the majority of children homed with lesbian or gay couples are still the 'hard to place' kids. Then we looked at donor insemination. I have a brother six years younger than me so we thought that, assuming he was willing, if Alison became pregnant with his sperm then the baby would still be biologically related to me.
'The other option we talked about was asking a gay couple that we're friends with. We knew they wanted children too so we reckoned we might make the perfect family - two dads and two mums.'
Another option they could have considered is egg swapping. One partner is inseminated and then the eggs are transferred to the other partner for the next nine months.
Whatever option is chosen, there will almost certainly be a cost implication. In spite of regular campaigning by organisations such as Stonewall, who fight for justice and equality on behalf of lesbians, gay men and bisexuals, there are few services available on the NHS. Going private is often the only, very expensive option. Alison and Jan were lucky that money was not an issue - Alison has a well paid career - but unfortunately, this raised other issues.
Read more: Gay Parenting http://www.ivillage.co.uk/parenting/pracad/parcare/articles/0,,186674_711252,00.html#ixzz0t82gQQv4
